I recently signed up for a Women Empowerment festival called Chingona Fest. On April 21st, women from across the RGV and South Texas will come together and celebrate our struggles, our victories, and our art. The purpose of the Festival is to promote the inner strength and beauty that we as Women possess. I remember when I first graduated from college and my family would tell me I thought I was too chingona. They meant it in a derogatory term as though I thought I was better than they were. Perhaps it was a way to control my rebellious side, I was always a little different from how they were and few truly know the real me.
There is a side of me that is and has been made fearful like a child, incapacitated by my own self-doubt, and this self-doubt has caused me to turn my back on what I love which is creating something. My inner critic rears its head at me and reminds how I am not good enough and how I can never be good enough unless a monetary value or big house is placed on my personage. Recently, I recalled telling family members about my contributions to several online publications and to which they responded “Are you getting paid for it?”
How contrite to believe that the symbolic notion of success is deemed by monetary contributions alone? Am I not successful if I was quoted or if people know who I am? Is it not enough to be appreciated rather than focus on my bank account? THis perception my family has of me is heart breaking and it pushes me away. Add in a mixed marriage and now we are cooking on some real Chingona Issues here.
The powerful women of Chingona Fest are rallying together for a Poetry, Music, Art and Craft filled night in two weeks. I suggest you support them, I know I will.